Hello you, how are you, long time no speak.... I have had a couple of conversations this week about people’s anxiety with doing things (in this case painting and driving lessons – not at the same time) and their challenges with perfectionism. Perfectionism and it’s constant nag in your ear to be better and to be amazing at everything you do immediately is in no uncertain terms a bastard. During my excellent and free counselling advice I suggested the following….
It was excellent advice and I really should charge for it. But it’s taken me a long time to realise that you can enjoy the mindful moment, the process of doing something and the journey and that unless you're a rocket scientist the end result may not matter as much. After all we’re all going to die and they do say life is about the journey not the destination. We also talked about how anxiety, avoidance, procrastinating and how looking for someone else’s permission or approval before doing something can be exhausting and are also all bastards. If you’re trying something new or difficult start small. Don’t look at where you think you should be, break it down into manageable steps and take them one at a time, go backwards if you need to. But start. Action creates motivation, not the other way round. Think of it like a journey too. If you are anxious about a decision or an action you can stop and pause at some mind traffic lights. You can take a slightly different direction, just a slight tweak to what you do and in time you could be in a very different place. The mind is a bit like a super tanker (full or terrible transport analogies today) and just half a degree change in direction can make a huge difference to where it ends up. And you can always steer back to a different destination if you want to or if the waters get choppy. So um that's it. You don't need to be a super tanker, a good one, average one or great one is ok, as long as you enjoy the journey.
Take care Paul
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AuthorMr Paul Wyse Archives
January 2021
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